social disorders

So I can't be certain, but I'm pretty sure I just ran into a closet alcoholic on the elevator.

Symptoms included:
- avoided eye contact
- *carrying* a six pack to his apt. on. a. Monday.
- no visible signs of relationship (i.e. ring, bruises, black eyes, etc.)
- lack of clear communication or conversation
- phrases like "gotta start the week off right" and nervous laughter when referring to the six pack
- shuffling amazingly quickly to your apartment after the awkward encounter on the elevator
- thinning hair (okay, that's a little unfair but it was true!)
- being a complete ghost in the apt complex since i've never seen him

Now for those of you that might try to claim the same thing of me, you're wrong. I can at least carry a conversation, I don't have thinning hair, and there is nothing closet about my personality!